Archive for April, 2012

I am in the process of watching a documentary on Hulu called America the Beautiful. It is essentially about the social pressure women face daily to be perfect, and how some actually pay for that ideal with their lives. If you have the time, I highly suggest it! There’s a direct link below, and if you do watch it: What did you take away? How did you feel? If you had a daughter, how would you keep her from falling into a life of self-hatred and unrealistic expectations?

In a society where female body image is one of the more dire problems facing today’s society, this film illuminates the issue by covering every base: child models, plastic surgery, celebrity worship, airbrushed advertising, and dangerous cosmetics.

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 America the Beautiful – Full Length Documentary

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Yeah, totally don’t have a choice, Ann!! Really? Is this ‘woman’ serious? It horrifies me that something with a vagina can be so out of  touch with reality that it’d actually feel this is an appropriate comment. Ann, you’re not a stay at home mother or house wife. You had dozens of nannies to help raise your hoard. So, let’s not even start with the mud slinging when your face is already covered in egg. Furthermore, how is it that women who do not choose to stay at home with a baby on each hip have no choice? Do you honestly believe that women are educating themselves and joining the workforce because they don’t have the privilege of being a baby mill? Wow…. JUST WOW!

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Interruption

Hello Audience,

I must apologize for my absence over the last ten days. I’m starring down the barrel of six finals, three essays, and a few projects. I should be finished with everything by the fifth of May, and since I’m taking the Summer off, you’ll have more of me than you can handle!

Meanwhile, For Your Amusement:

My Response:

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Apparently, some silver-tongued-sirens have decided to fight fire with fire by leaving regular vagina updates on Virginia Republican caucus chairman Ryan McDougle’s facebook page! Below are a few priceless quotes and a link to the original article. I must  say, this seems like a pretty interesting way to let government officials know that we mean business!

You know, Senator, I’ve wished all my life that a man would know more about my own vaginal issues than I do, and now you’re here! So here it goes, during my last period, I had to use the Super tampons because I had some chunky blood issues. You know, that pesky uterus and all. Maybe you could tell my uterus that all the blood will ooze out in its own time, and not to rush itself into shooting clots out every month. Also, I find it very inconvenient that I wake up in a pool of my own blood on the first and second days of my period. Maybe you can help a sister out?

Senator McDougle, I am almost 49 and STILL menstruating with no sign of slowing down! Frankly, I’ve had enough of this inconvenience- the cost of pads and pain reliever and all the mess- well YOU know how it is. You’re an expert on this lady stuff. I was going to ask my gynocologist [sic] about this issue, but since you know so much about women’s reproductive health, I figured I’d just stop by your Facebook page and ask you. So, when will I finally go through the change? My mister and I want to donate the money we spend on birth control to the Richmond Reproductive Freedom Project to help women pay for those unfunded government mandated ultrasounds.

Hey, since you’re so interested in my health, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been really horny lately because I’m ovulating. But don’t worry, I won’t engage in dangerous heterosexual sex that could result in a pregnancy. This is because I”m a really fat and hairy Lesbian and I plan on having sex with women for the rest of my life, the really butch dykey kind. The current object of my affections, and the central character in the majority of the sexual fantasies at the moment, is Alison Bechdel (pictured below). Thanks for showing me the light in regards to my own sexual health, in affirming that having sex with men in [sic] more trouble than it’s worth. The fact that women are sexier anyway, it just a happy coincidence.

Hi senator. I seem to be irregular and my cramping is pretty bad- so bad that I can’t sleep at night or get anything done. Imagine being repeatedly kicked in the crotch for hours, but move the pain up to the whole lower abdomen, because that’s the only way I can describe it to someone who doesn’t have a uterus that can cramp so badly that it restricts blood flow to surrounding tissues. I thought you would be concerned.

Hey senator! just a quick hello to let you know that I’m currently ovulating! my vaginal discharge is thick and sticky and smells acidic (probably all the garlic i’ve been eating!) if you want to note that in the charts you must be keeping on me and my vulva. i’ll let you know how i’m doing next week!

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Image From We’ve Had Enough – Ohio

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